Well, Pure Heart and I are off today with 22 high school students to Scotland, England and France. When I come back, I will be wearing a kilt. And no underwear.
I’ve been to England before, but not to the other two countries. I am really excited that we're driving through the Scottish and English Countryside as we go from Edinburgh down to London. I’ve never seen that part of the United Kingdom. We will then keep going south to the coast of England for an overnight ferry that will land us onto the Normandy beaches at 7 a.m. It will be my own little invasion of France.
True story: When I was very young, I actually thought that the U.S. was attacking France on D-Day since that’s where we were landing. Maybe that’s why I’ve never liked the French. Serves them right, I figured. Dang French.
And so, that’s why I am all amped up for Scotland, England, and our day of World War II history…but, I am rather apathetic about France. Co-author Camerin, a true Francophile who owns 896 Eiffel tower replicas (give or take), calls me a Francophobe. Despite my aversion, she swears I will like France. She insists the French won’t all be wearing berets, smoking long cigarettes, dressing in black and snottily reading poems about hating Americans. Oui?
She tells me I need to give France a chance. In fact, for the last several months, that’s the war she’s been waging against me: The “Give France a Chance” campaign.
She’s broken me down a little. I will give France a chance. After all, I did spend 2 years in high school French class. So I’m excited I may FINALLY be able to use the one sentence of French I still remember. Roughly translated it means, “I am going to the pool with my sheep.”
I assume it will prove very handy.
If France gives me the chance to talk about sheep, I will give it a chance.
4 comments:
Screw France.
Actually, I'm down with Paris or Lourdes, but Tony Parker, snails, and Jean Girard have to go.
You will love France! Mostly because you can laugh at how they all DO fit the stereotypes! That's what was so funny to me! Enjoy your trip. :)
Oh come on, people. What's not to love about a country known for chocolate, wine, cheese, baguettes, and great fashion? Need I mention French fries or French toast? Oh sure, no country is perfect. But I stand by my slogan: Give France a Chance!
Why can't you just call her your wife? Or Wife if you must. Wasn't Pure Heart one of the Care Bears?
Have fun in France. If you see one of those mimes with metallic face paint and a silvery suit, please punch him. while yelling, "Autobots, attack!"
Man, I should go somewhere. Maybe at the very least leave my room instead of being a shut-in.
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