5.26.2006

PTOIT Quotes of the Week

"Fidel Castro's doctor denied rumours that the president's health was ailing, saying today the 77-year-old leader is in excellent health and claiming he can live at least 140 years. 'I am not exaggerating,' said Mr Selman." --From a wire story that raises the question, "How long would Castro's doc live if he didn't say things like this?"

"All of [the warnings] come too late for Emery, a secretary in the political science department, who still winces when she recounts what happened to her on a June afternoon she took a shortcut through Thompson Woods. She heard a rustling and saw 'this deer headed right toward me, full charge." -- From a very melodramatic and overwrought story about deer attacks at Southern Illinois University.

"I was wrong." --Lost's Locke.

"The fans are crazy. God bless White Sox fans. Get punched in the face and you're a hero. You get a standing ovation for getting your [butt] kicked and because you strike out. I've never seen that before. Good for AJ. He's bigger than me now." --Ozzie Guillen, trying to explain AJ's folk hero status with Sox fans.

"I have learned over the years, never to say never. If people say they've got a bear in their backyard, I have to believe them. He's right here on frat row with people walking around. This is not a place we want a bear." --A local police officer in yet another Bear Attack story.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Fidel's expected longevity...

Product of nationalized health care system???

Viva Fidel! Viva La Revolucion!