Long Live The Cookie Drawer

I am eating a delightful Snicker Doodle cookie right now as I write. It may be surprising, but this cookie is somewhat controversial.

The issue dates back a couple of years. You see, I like cookies. Anyone who knows me won't be surprised by this admission. In fact, My Intended and I are foregoing any wedding cake at our reception in favor of cookies. Thanks to my weakness for cookies, I just never know when the cookie craving will hit. And I also hate to see cookies go to waste. So, when cookies are available around the office at birthday parties and such, I'll eat one...and put one in a drawer of my desk that I affectionately call, The Cookie Drawer.

For two years, my co-worker LaTonya has been on a campaign to shut down my Cookie Drawer. How does The Cookie Drawer affect her? Or hurt her quality of life? It doesn't--and that's Fallacy One of her argument against my cookie ways. The second fallacy is that somehow the cookie adapts the "taste" of the desk when it rests in the Cookie Drawer. "I'm sure it tastes like metal and pencil shavings," is her usual refrain.

I've never ate metal or pencil shavings, but I will tell you what my Cookie Drawer cookies taste like: Cookies. They do not inherit any wood or metal-like properties by osmosis. (I've done scientific tests. Unlike wood or metal, a Cookie Drawer cookie cannot be made into a bridge or a sword.)

Today, I finished my lunch and needed something sweet. With great happiness I remembered that we had a birthday party here at work yesterday. And I stored a cookie in The Cookie Drawer. I retrieved it. Of course, I had to point out to LaTonya how good it was--just to rub it in. She was--as I was hoping--very rattled and upset that I'd eat this cookie aftr it sat overnight in my drawer. "You didn't even wrap it up?" she shrieked. "I love baking and I feel like you dishonor the baking by not showing more honor to the cookie. God did not intend for cookies to be left uncovered. That surely is not biblical." I countered that King David worshipped the Lord uncovered. So why can't a cookie?

With all the honor and respect the Snicker Doodle rightly deserved, I ate it. And enjoyed. Afterward, I got thinking. It's possible that LaTonya is a superhero. I think she may very well possess some superhuman tasting abilities that no one else does. I am not sure how her power to taste the environment in a piece of food will stop crime, but you know Aquaman does OK with a lame power...


the Gat said...

by LT's reasoning, shouldn't the cookie inherit the flavor of the material it is wrapped in? So, what about tin foil? Or plastic wrap? The only way to get around this is to wrap the cookies in... cookies. You should line the inside of the Cookie Drawer with cookies.

I am wrapping things in bacon as we speak. Mmmm.

lil' sis said...

mmm cookies (; Maybe you should go home Todd b/c mom will make cookies if you go home.. and then i will come eat them.. except for one cookie to put in your cookie drawer

chaddaddy said...

"Points finger and laughs at Todd and Lil Sis" he he.. Mom brought me over cookies Monday Night. Oh, thats right.. did you feel yourself decind on the pyramid of Mom's love!

PS.. I didn't get to eat a single one of them.. darn women.

the todd said...

I am astonished and angry! If only I was the first to procreate! All my cookies are being given to those who made the first grandbaby. Drats.

Oh, and good thinking, Gat. I am currently insulating my entire kitchen with cookies.