1.17.2007

Put on Your Meat Pajamas. It's Time to Rock.

My Top 30 Band Names

I have very little musical talent, but I've always wanted a band. I don't want to be in a band to be famous or get the chicks--or even play music. Instead, my motivation was always very simple: to get to name the band and design the cover art. Seriously. That's the fun part. I remember being a high school freshman and wanting to name a band Quantum. I even had drawings of how it would look.

So, at work, Designer Doug and I have long kept a list of names we'd name a band if we had one. Here's my current favorite 30:

30. Trucktober! - This would be a really hard rockin' rockabilly band.
29. Pegleg Peggy
28. Soup or Samurai
27. Meat Spindle
26. Olives on my Mind
25. Diehard Dairy
24. Ground Chuck D
23. Baking in Boxers
22. Extorting the Monkey - The Future Mother-in-Law gave me this little plastic Monkey head that holds change. So when you press his cheeks to get coins, I like to say you are Extorting the Monkey.
21. Barfight Burrito - This one comes from Designer Doug. He likes alliteration and burritos.
20. Homemade Minions
19. Scottish & Sassy
18. Last Night's Taco
17. Atomic Asparagus
16. Celebrity Knifefight
15. Showers of Blech
14. Ghostlimb Gary - This one comes from Designer Doug. He likes alliteration and the idea of ghost limbs.
13. Camp for Cavemen
12. Kamikaze Kitchen
11. Zombie Monkey Love
10. Truckosaurus
9. Meat Pajamas
8. Moose Puppet
7. Spinning Meat Wheel
6. Government Cheese
5. Bowlful of Cowboys - I have an M&M candy dish in my office. To prevent me from eating way too many M&Ms, I've now filled it with plastic cowboys.
4. Cornelius Oregon and the Wafers - For our magazine, I once worked with a camp in a town called Cornelius, Oregon, and decided it would be the best stage name for me ever.
3. Naked For Peanut Butter - I've talked about this as a band name for a long time--ever since the famous Survivor incident.
2. Tickle-Me-Tony
1. Zombie Gargoyles & The Girl of my Dreams - The origin is best explained here.

WEDDING WEDNESDAY
The Intended and I are very formal people. Here are excerpts from e-mails this week concerning my attendance at her wedding showers:

From Me:
Todd's Official Shower Stance: I will do what my future bride would like me to do. If you'd like me to be at showers, I am there. If you don't care, then I will gladly take my leave and let you girls do your thing. And I am more than happy to show up at the end, help with clean up, say hello to the ladies and help bring home gifts.

From Her:
Official Shower Decree: I hereby claim Todd exempt from sitting with a bunch of goofy women while opening presents and getting high on sugary cake. This shall be upheld as long as he is able and available to help transport gifts from the aforementioned events.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have a particular penchant for Scottish and Sassy. I, like Designer Doug, like alliteration (see above sentence). But, I also have a strong affinity for all things in the UK, and like to fancy myself a smidge sassy at times. This band could be a triple francished band...S&S, with English and Excellent and Irish and Irrepressible. I imagine these will be much better exports from the UK than The Spice Girls! Maybe I'll email Simon Cowell today...on second thought...I probably should just keep grading British lit essays! :)

the dreamer said...

Just wanted to point out that 17 out of the 30 selections are food-related. Not that it's surprising. I understand wanting to combine the two passions of food and music.

the todd said...

Well, those numbers are influenced by how much I like meat.

Anonymous said...

Chaddaddy,
While upon considering your request, I am most amused. However, I respectfully decline the request in deference to reasoning that Todd will still have to haul gifts, a most painful and arduous task. :)
Amused,
The Intended (in British formality mode) :)

Anonymous said...

Chaddaddy,
While upon considering your request, I am most amused. However, I respectfully decline the request in deference to reasoning that Todd will still have to haul gifts, a most painful and arduous task. :)
Amused,
The Intended (in British formality mode) :)

Unknown said...

woah - for a minute there, i thought, once married, todd would be forced to bathe a certain way.

rjcraig said...

Todd, I vote for any of your top 6...great names. I've always been a fan of the "random band-name generators" one can find on the cybernet (yes, Todd, I think Ray still calls it that once in a while). Some favorites that I've seen: The Steel Spiderman Brothers, Naked Jelly and the Twist, Breathe the Whitey, Monastic Plug, Arrange the Strainer, Heart of the Reduced Syrup, Critical Spooky, Lumpy Confusion and the Nude, Grip Incognito, Data Him, Lavender Fuzzy, Heat of the Elton, Anonymous Mosquito and Styx.
Unfortunately, I was not one of the founders of the single band I was in...We were called "Sabre." It was the 80s.

the todd said...

Chad, you are cracking me up. If it makes you feel better you can go to all The Intended's wedding showers. There's like 17 of them.

Mark Ahn said...

re: band names

The best band name I've ever hit upon is "Exceptional Children."

re: wedding showers

Bring beer.