Nothing Runs Like a Monkey

The other day I was going through entries for a contest our magazine is doing. I enjoy seeing the creative e-mail addresses of our readers. The best I saw that day was: mymonkeyssaysyoureawiener@blahblah. (Note to my sarcastic comment board writers: no, that's not really his address.)

Anyway, I found this e-mail address to be very funny. I imagined this kid growing up and using that address while e-mailing his resume to get a job. Or communicating with the father of a new girlfriend. Heehee. When I shared the funny address with Marc, however, the situation became more sinister. Marc's suspicion is that this e-mail was setup by whoever took my missing Red Fez Monkey. And now that thief is rubbing it in. He's stressing that it's HIS monkey. And he's implying that Red Fez doesn't like me.

With my anger, hurt and loss all stirred up again, look for the Monkey Hunt to resume with renewed vigor very soon. I have a new action plan. Purple Fez Monkey has volunteered to head out on an epic journey across the globe searching for his fallen brother. And PTOIT shall chronicle his trek in photos. Coming soon: Purple Fez and the Last Crusade.

PTOIT SPECIAL FEATURE: WEDDING WEDNESDAY

I've made an appointment to pick out my tux. That's pretty exciting. But as far as I am concerned, the decision is already made. I found this tux (at right) in the catalog for the store I am going too. It was love at first sight. I'm not really big on a white tux, but the reason why it says, "Todd wear me" is that it looks like the White Sox home uniform. Slap a White Sox hat on top and it's PERFECT. (Stirrups would cement the look even more!)

My Intended is not so sold on this tux. We're still in negotiations. One consolation I do make is that unlike this striking model, I am a tad pale and pasty. If I were wearing this tux, I really would just look like a big pale sticky blob. But a pale sticky blob who is faithful to his team, nonetheless.