This I What I Do At Work.

A Real IM Conversation:

Marc: Hey - how does one earn a nickname like "The Jackal?"
Todd: Hmmm. Laughing a lot?
Marc: That's the heyena.
Todd: Oh. Eating deceased animals?
Todd: It seems that I don't actually know any distinguishing traits of the jackal, I guess.
Marc: I see on the news that Carlos the Jackal is to Face Trial in Terror Attacks in France. Do I have to be a criminal to have that nickname?
Todd: It might help.
Marc: Cause all the nicknames i've been given have been very poor.
Todd: If you like that nickname I can start calling you that and we'll see if it catches on
Todd: Do you like Marc the Jackal? Or just The Jackal?
Marc: hmm - i don't know if that has a good ring to it - doesn't flow off the tongue so well
Marc: Marc the Aardvark
Marc: No, that ain't gonna work either. Who's gonna be afraid of an anteater? Besides the ants of course.
Marc: Although, maybe it's a metaphor - i'm larger than life and everyone around me is small, like ants
Todd: That's good
Marc: Can you imagine going through life with an ego like that?
Todd: Hey, you're The Aardvark, not me.
Todd: I like nicknames with "the"
Marc: as if there is only one Jackal in the world
Todd: exactly.
Todd: I need a nickname too. Like The Ratchet
Todd: Or The Fixer
Todd: I don't know why. They make me seem cool to have in a pinch.
Marc: The Cordless Screwgun
Marc: The Beltsander
Marc: The Jigsaw
Todd: Oh, I think I got my nickname: The Hatchet
Todd: I don't know what it means. But it sounds ominous.
Marc: And I don't know why people like to bury those things either.
Marc: Do they grow?
Todd: i don't want anyone burying me
Marc: Your a cremation type of guy, eh?
Todd: Instead of "The something" you could do something like Marc Two-Toes or Six-Finger Jimmy
Todd: Six-Finger Jimmy is funny since you have 10 fingers and your name is not Jimmy
Marc: How about Jimmy Two-Face - it's just that you never actually see Jimmy - you normally see Marc - but Jimmy is there... lurking .... just don't cross him
Todd: oooh, I like that
Todd: Jimmy Two-Face and The Hatchet.
Todd: We're two really scary guys now
Marc: indeed
Marc: i just re-read that new dress code. Glad we can wear blue jeans on Fridays now. But stretch pants can't be worn - i guess i won't ever be wearing my Nacho Libre costume here at work.
Todd: haha. But...crap. Now I have to go home and change.
Todd: Are tube tops OK?
Marc: great - now you just brought back that old mental image of barry bonds in a tube top
Todd: Take that, Two-Face!
Todd: That's what The Hatchet does.
Marc: you are living up to your name
Marc: whatever that means
Todd: Yah, I don't really know what "That's what The Hatchet does" means.
Todd: But I think it's my catchphrase.
Marc: some might argue that The Hatchet chops wood - but those people would only be partially correct
Todd: Yah, 'cause apparently "what The Hatchet does" also means that I give people bad mental images of tube tops.
Marc: I have to say - we haven't had a conversation this bizzare in a long time - I'm claiming that the blue jeans have brought back our creativity.