Singed Baby Hair

I think the blog is going to suffer a lack of updates because Fantasy Football time is here. I have spent so much time in the last two days juggling my roster and figuring out who to play. It's an illness really. I tend to over-manage. I already dropped a guy on a whim--and now it looks like I should have kept him afterall. I am not even sure why I got rid of him. I just got it in my head that he was no good. D'oh.

Anyway, I thought I'd introdouce a quick new feature this week. All the blasts form the pasts this week made me realize that when I have no new fun stories, I have lots of old ones! So here it goes:

One day in junior high, I was at my friend Jason's house. Three or four of us were over hanging in the basement and no parents. We were hungry. We wanted pizza. But we were lazy. So we hit the small kitchenette in the basement's bar. There was a freezer. In it we found frozen pizzas. Score. So we popped them int he downstairs oven because then we had to do no walking up stairs.

Jason pre-heated the oven. And waited. And Waited. It wouldn't get hot. The oven was still stone cold. But yet, something smelled hot. Then we smelled the burning.

We looked everywhere. What could be burning? What is hot? The oven isn't even warm! Then I checked the broiler under the oven. Smoke billowed out. Jason had turned on the broiler insted of the oven. All would be fine but Jason's sister used the broiler to play house and it had been full of plastic dishes, glasses and baby dolls. Oops. The broiler was now coated in melted plastic and simmering hair.

Being stupid junior high boys, we decided to jump to action to clean it up so that we would get in no trouble--even tho it was an accident. We used my pocket knife to scrape plastic off the broiler racks. We doused doll baby hair to put out the redhot embers. And Joey put the glasses under cold water to cool them off. And we all know what that did. Yah, they shattered. That was kinda exciting actually.

PTOIT Quotes of the Week

"Attack, Attack, Attack." --What Doug V thinks he heard his 8-month-old daughter whispering this week.

"[The lead actors of The Covenant] hope to unravel the mystery of this new impending doom as they strike actor poses in sleeveless shirts and relaxed fit jeans. Sons of Shatner, UNITE FOR JUSTICE!! At any given moment the movie could have dissolved into an overdub of a narrator from Project Runway saying, "Caleb is fighting evil today in distressed denim and a tight basic black t-shirt, proving that simple themes can battle back bad fashion anyday! (Caleb strikes a pose and broods)." --A review for the movie The Covenant which is undoubtedly more fun than the movie.

"Meanwhile, back at the dorms, [the female characters] ponder the motivations of their men while finding reasons to disrobe or just sit around in their underwear." -That same Covenant review.

"You know it's fall when the UPS man starts wearing pants." -Doug F.


chaddaddy said...

The overheard comment of Doug's daughter is proof that all infants are plotting against us. I pressed my ear to my pregnant wifes belly the other day only to hear what can only be explained as my yet to be born son constructing tanks in the womb. I'm telling you, they are coming to get us, and they have heavy artilary.

the todd said...

If you are hearing metal sounds in your wife's body, she may be a robot.

chaddaddy said...

Fem-Bot perhaps... Good Lord I hope there are no "machine gun jublies"